Built-in Friendship

It seems as if something beautiful may be happening around here...

I think my kids are becoming friends! This might be extremely naive of me but really I've been so worried that my 2 and 4 year old would never get along. I've only been a mother for not yet five years and I fall into the trap of worrying, like REALLY worrying that I'm not going to get things right. How will I know what sport they will be good at, when to start, if they will even like sports? What if I can't afford violin lessons or if I can and it turns out I should have picked saxophone? Those are just a couple of things I actually HAVE some control over. What if my children don't like each other?? I think I can say that so far for they spend about half their time playing and the other half fighting, ok, maybe 40/60. I think I also have to say, for myself, THEY'RE BABIES, relax!

After a very long "up and down" kind of day yesterday I allowed Luke and Kahlan to watch a movie before bed. I just needed to get to the finish line! They always sit on separate couches. Kahlan, who's 2 annoys Luke (4) by sitting too close, putting her feet on him, breathing, etc. I set them up on their respective couches and went about my business putting baby Jane to bed and cleaning up dinner. I stopped between tasks, surprised and overjoyed to see them nestled up together...on the same couch! I pretended not to notice and carried on after soaking it up for a moment. It just really fills my heart to see tenderness between them. I think for the most part it's all up to Luke right now. Kahlan wants to be around him and wants to play with him but a lot of the time he sees her as an annoying thing who knocks over his buildings and steals his toys.

I first noticed this little shift in relationship a few nights ago. They were crazy rambunctious, running around our house (which is not big enough for running around), and driving me crazy. But they were playing together and having so much fun! This is very important to me, fun I mean, I love them to have some good clean breathless fun. And the playing together part wasn't really the out of the ordinary detail, it was the tenderness that followed. At bedtime Luke asked me if I would put on some music for him (sometimes they like to listen to the praise baby channel on Pandora at night). I put the music near his bed because Kahlan was already asleep and he said to me, "Mom, can you put it by Kahli's bed, because I want my sister to hear it while she's sleeping." Oh, my heart! It's gonna be alright, haha! I forfeited my iPad to them for the evening.

Now I'm not naive enough to think that Kahlan will cease to be Luke's annoying little sister. They will fight over toys, which show they want to watch, who's putting their feet on who and so on. But that deeper bond that I've been concerned about, that I cherish so much in my relationship with my own siblings, is beginning to grow. To think of it fills me with so much joy. God has hand picked the five of us to be in this family together and I'm excited about what He has in store. Experiencing the friendship that is going to develop between my kids is a blessing that I must try not to take for granted. I don't need to worry about them, I know this, but not because everything will work itself out. Most things don't really work themSELVES out. I submit my life, my husband children and self to the Lord. And because He is good (and pretty smart too) my worrying about them will not add or take away from the actual outcome of their life situations. Of course this doesn't mean I'm worry free, though somedays I do obsess less about music lessons and karate vs Kung Fu. It does mean that I know I'm not alone. God has been here with me for every diaper change, every skinned knee, every "up and down" day, every moment I feel hopeless and every time my heart fills with the joy of the privilege of motherhood. He loves these kids more than I do. And that's why they'll be ok. That they have the added gift of built-in friendship as they grow together isn't something they need to think much about right now, but is surely something I am grateful for and look forward to being a part of. I love these little people!